Some of the best players in the NFL will be competing against each other in the league’s version of it’s all-star game known as the Pro Bowl.

So why should you care about this exhibition where the hitting resembles that of a parent (not Adrian Peterson) playing with toddlers?

You shouldn’t.  But don’t worry, it’s not about what you like.

Truth No. 1- The Pro Bowl is about the players, not you. 

As someone who has attended the Pro Bowl in Hawaii I can say with complete certainty that the primary purpose of the athletes who are there is to have fun and not get hurt.  Unfortunately, this doesn’t fall in line with the game of football as we know it.  We love the intensity and the violence of the game and this is basically a one-calorie version of it.

This is a vacation for the guys selected (that don’t decline the invitation) and it’s a chance to make new friends and in some situations do a little recruiting.

Truth No. 2- The only reason there is a Pro Bowl is because enough of you watch it. 

I don’t know a single person that admits to watching the entire Pro Bowl.  The only one I’ve ever watched completely since I turned 16 years old was the one I attended.

I see the Pro Bowl similar to the music of Lada Gaga.  We know she’s talented and eccentric and plenty of guys like her music.  But nobody will admit it.

Two years ago the Pro Bowl drew 11.7 million viewers.  That was better than just about every other non-NFL sporting event.  Although we have never met any of these people that are allegedly watching, they are watching and in droves.

That’s why this event is still going strong.

Truth No. 3- The only way to fix the Pro Bowl is to not play football.

We’ve already established that the Pro Bowl is the worst brand of football you will ever see.  We’ve also established that you’re going to watch it anyway (and then complain about it the whole time).

So how do we fix it?

It’s easy, no more football.

The hell you say!

We can do an Olympics with each of the athletes, making it mandatory that they compete in a minimum number of events.

Here are some ideas for the events: 

Who doesn’t want to see an all quarterbacks 100-yard sprint?

An NFL’s strongest man contest with different weight classes.

One-on-one basketball.

A slam-dunk contest.

A par-3 golf tournament

A home run derby.

Ping-pong (epic comeback starts right here).

A game of horse.

A receiver’s gauntlet showcasing their hands.

Longest/most accurate throwing contests.

These feats of strength would be better than anything that will happen between the white lines on Sunday and it would make for good television.

The one thing we know about these players is that they are extremely competitive.  Don’t think they wouldn’t want to rip each other’s hearts out in a game of ping-pong and it would be fun for us to watch.