HBO’s Hard Knocks featuring the Houston Texans series opened up on Tuesday evening.  Since we know that not everyone has HBO or had the chance to view it, here are some notes from the opening episode.

• Bill O’Brien opens the show by defending his quarterbacks, and is tired of the disrespect.  O’Brien seems to be in love with the ‘F word,’ that would be a theme in this opening episode.
• Vince Wilfork is playing catch with an elephant. He’s amazed at the size of it (ironic). 
• J.J. Watt is flipping a 1000 pound tire.  He apparently flipped it over 65 times in a day.  Watt was then hitting said tire with a large hammer.  
• He works hard.  We get it.
• Arian Foster’s brother is working him out.  Foster says that he could work out with anyone in the country but he chose his brother.  Then he tears his groin, which wasn’t pictured.  I’m guessing that isn’t going to help Foster’s brother advance his career. 
• O’Brien is quizzing people on who the owner is, and who some of the players are.
• O’Brien still using the F word.  
• A very large woman with a very deep voice was yelling at J.J. Watt saying that he was “so hot.”
• You can tell that linebackers coach Mike Vrabel is going to be a star.  Telling the rookies about work and working with them on technique.
• Reshard Cliett tears his ACL, then gets encouraging words from management.
• Asst. Strength Coach Sean Hayes does a lousy Macho Man Savage impersonation taunting J.J. Watt.  It was by far the funniest moment of the episode. 
• Center Ben Jones tells a story about throwing up on the football back in college.
• Vince Wilfork was playing basketball and he’s the definition of a “Fat-lete.”  Wilfork is surprisingly really good, not just in the post.  He sees the court like Magic Johnson and has a sweet stroke from the outside. 
• DeAndre Hopkins highlights. He looks like an absolute beast.  It’s no wonder that they let Andre Johnson go. 
• More F words from O’Brien
• Romeo Crennel is cursing out the defense, the only decent part of the Texans organization now that Arian Foster is hurt.
• J.J. Watt is working into the night. He’s one of the biggest human beings in the world.
• Watt is then catching passes with one hand after practice.  The guy really does practice what he preaches about working hard.  
• Vince Wilfork tells an old joke about married women and ice cream.
• The quarterback situation in Houston can be summed up by this Bill O’Brien quote- “We have to reserve the right to punt.”
• The team travels to Washington for some combined practices.  O’Brien and Jay Gruden were talking about what to do if there was a fight….Foreshadowing
• J.J. Watt handles Brandon Scherff, but says “It doesn’t count,” because he’s a rookie.
• DeAndre Hopkins and DeAngelo Hall were jawing at each other.  Then Hopkins breaks his ankles on a route.  Literally Hall went down with an ankle injury.
• O’Brien professes his love for Rick Ross…with the F word.
• Mike Vrabel is hilarious with quotes like, “Throw a marshmallow at him,” and “We’re the nicest bleeping team I’ve ever seen.”  
• The HBO cameras had some great angles of the numerous brawls with the Redskins.
• The episode closes with J.J. Watt and his family playing cornhole.